Oh, mistakes. You are my deepest and darkest nemesis. I hate you to a T. I am prepared to stay away from you, yet sometimes, you sneak back into my life like an annoying relative. Unfortunately, you come around more often than once a year. How do I ultimately get rid of you? And why is God so intent on placing you in my life?

Let me start my story by saying I’m a super hard worker. I love to work and to learn. I would call myself a fairly smart cookie. I pick things up pretty easily once I am taught. But somehow, I keep making mistakes. I make mistakes as an employee, as a friend, as a parent, as a wife, as a volunteer, and so on and so forth. I have also had the luxury of being around those pesky little people called perfectionists while I try to hide my mishaps. The worst thing is that I may be harder on myself about making these mistakes than those little stinkers.

I was asked a few weeks ago to come back into a volunteer position I had previously left. I love Computer Graphics (the person who puts lyrics, videos, inserts from the message on the screen), but life was moving me deeper into my design volunteer position. I felt moved to step down from Computer Graphics (CG) and focus on design. But once I was asked to come back, I felt called to do more than just volunteer. I wanted to lead! The passion to pour into others was already rushing through me, and God knew I needed more. So when I agreed to come back, I asked to be trained as a leader, also. They agreed! Woohoo!

See, I felt confident enough in asking for such a big request because I have run CG for the church for 4 years. That’s a long time! I have trained a ton of people along the way, learned to set up and tear down (even while 7 months preggers!), and set up the program for each Sunday. I knew what I was doing, and I would come back into it with ease…… or so I thought.

The first Sunday back, I had made sure to set up the program so I knew what all would take place in service. I woke up my little pregnant body at 5:15am (it hurts just to say that), drove to church, helped set up my area, practiced with the band, and began our run-through of service. Our pastor becomes inspired to add slides sometimes, and he definitely added his share that day. I was also feeling faint-ish for some reason, and asked others to help while I took some time to rest before service. But I would be fine….right?

Then, we began service. There I was, back in the swing of things. I knew what I was doing! It felt good! I’ve got this…..then the monitor went out…. wait, what? Apparently, for a few weeks, CG had issues with some of the cords. So there I was, holding the computer cords while I continued to click along. “Ok, just a blip. No problem! We’ve got this!” I said to myself. Then, I began to feel faint-ish again. What is this? I begin drinking water, and I got through about 2 bottles before the message starts. It was not helping much.

The pastor starts to preach. “Just breathe,” I say over and over. Well, to cut to the chase, my brain started slowing down, so I was slow to react. Scripture slides stayed up too long. A slide that was supposed to have more on it, didn’t. After the last song, we went back to a slide….which I had to find in my hazy state….and of course, I hit the wrong slide. So, needless to say, in front of our entire congregation, this girl who “knew everything” about her position and walked back in so confidently was now destroyed. Why?

I had prayed that God would put me where I needed to be. I felt moved to be more than just a volunteer. I wanted to lead! I wanted to encourage and support people on my team! I wanted to be an example and be a rock for them. All I was that day was a quivering mess. How could I be that stronghold for them while making all of these mistakes? I tried to brush it off, but it stuck with me. Each mistake, each screw up came back over and over to revisit. Was this what God wanted?

All in all, I believe this was a part of God’s plan. What I didn’t mention earlier is that my husband and I were both a part of the production team for 4 years. We worked side by side and felt like we were the best at what we did. Our pride grew and grew, and God had used this season in our lives to humble us for Him. He had taken my husband through the humbling journey, and now he was taking me. If I was going to be a leader to others, I needed to understand making mistakes. We are human and unable to be perfect.

Production is a tricky area to volunteer in. We are the service. We are a large part of why people come back and excellence is pushed as a value. These beliefs can raise your pride when you haven’t made mistakes or make you feel unworthy to serve God if you do. The focus of volunteering should ALWAYS be on God. That’s the point! We go to church to be with Him. We serve to get closer and connected to Him. We attempt excellence so we can bring others to Him. Everything should revolve around Him, not on ourselves. God was showing me that I may have the skill but my focus wasn’t on Him. It was on showing off my own abilities. I was pointing a big, neon arrow at myself.

I fully believe God intentionally places us in situations where we will be humbled. First, when we are humbled, our eyes move from ourselves back to Him because we remember we are not in control. Second, being humbled makes us better people. We understand others and their struggles more. We place pride behind us and look at what’s important. Third, God may test our hearts to see where our loyalty really lies. Remember Job anyone? God is an incredibly loving and understanding God, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t want to know where our hearts lie. Sometimes, He wants us to know where our main focus is.

Here are 10 scriptures pointing to the importance of being made humble:

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

1 Peter 5:6

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

The Lord sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts.

1 Samuel 2:7

Look at all who are proud and humble them, crush the wicked where they stand.

Job 40:12

He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.

Psalm 25:9

For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.

Psalm 149:4

Take my yolk upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:29

The Lord Almighty planned it, to bring down her pride in all her splendor and to humble all who are renowned on the earth.

Isaiah 23:9

Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.

Deuteronomy 8:2

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:18

I have learned to watch for my mistakes, learn from them, and learn what plan God has for me when they occur. Is my heart where it should be? Am I listening to God and hearing Him clearly? Is my heart pure? Are my eyes seeking Him? Many people forget that the earth is sin. We are not meant to succeed here. We are meant to shine a light for Jesus in any way we can. If mistakes have to happen, if our hearts need humbling, if others can learn from our mistakes to see where to fix their eyes, then shouldn’t we be proud of those moments?

I may never be okay with making mistakes, but at least I have a clearer outlook on what to do when I make them. We are supposed to strive for excellence, but we don’t need to focus on our own abilities and the mistakes we make. Remember that God is watching and many around you may be watching to see what your next move will be. You can be a role model as to how to handle mistakes as a Christian. So with that said, how will you handle your next mistake?